Astrology of the Soul
by Linda Brady
The Value of Change : The Secret we Keep from Ourselves Celebrating Change – Part 2
My holiday article will explore how divine love and courage can help us transform Chironic fear into love. This transformation can provide us with opportunities to create serenity and peace in this lifetime, instead of the fear and oppression that we created in the past. If you have not read Part 1, November’s article, please do that now, before you continue reading this article.
My first experience with Chiron occurred on the day that I received a call from my co-author, Evan St. Lifer, telling me we had an agent who wanted to promote our book, Discovering Your Soul Mission, to New York publishing houses should have been the happiest day of my life. Instead I felt the deepest fear that I had ever experienced. I finished the call, sat on my bed and shook. For three weeks I was overwhelmed and paralyzed by fear. I was haunted by horrific imaginings of people’s possible responses to the book. People would hate, judge, scorn and humiliate me. I was not safe and everyone I loved would be at risk. I also really wanted the book to be published. Evan and I had worked on it for years, every night after work, from 10-12 PM. We were determined that it would be excellent all around: easy to read for the novice and informational for the advanced reader. So many hours, so many dreams could disappear because of my unnamed fear. I was in conflict and my emotions were winning. I believed, as David Spangler wrote in Revelation that emotion will interfere with and precede any thought. I knew that I was in trouble.
Contaminated Versus Natural Emotion
I coach my clients to discriminate the differences between natural and contaminated feelings. I have taught that natural feelings were responses to real life situations. For example, you have a flat tire in the middle of the night in a dangerous part of a big city and three young men approach you with tire irons. My guess is that you will be scared. You have read the papers, watched television and seen horrible crimes being committed in that part of town. Yet, when they arrive they volunteer to help you change the tire. At that moment you cease to be afraid. They are not going to hurt you. Your feelings as they were approaching you were contaminated based on previous knowledge and experience. The reality was very different than your feelings indicated. We all have pre-conceived notions that give rise to emotional states that interfere with our lives. Many of these feelings come from past lives and so are absolutely contaminated.
The Shoe is on the Other Foot
I have observed many clients and students have immense emotional reactions to what other people may perceive as small life situations. When I have suggested that these feelings are contaminated and are not, therefore, realistic responses to their current life they have gotten angry at me for not honoring their emotions. Well, now the shoe was on the other foot. I was in the same agony and would defy my husband not to be dismissive of my fears or, even worse, to attempt to be rational in explaining them away. I had to figure this out. I was causing problems in my marriage and in my relationship with my co-author. I had deadlines that I was not meeting and Michael was very frustrated in being unable to help me.
Astrology to the Rescue
Astrology, once again, came to my rescue. I was beginning at that time to understand the energies of Chiron. Up to this point in my life, my experience of Chiron had been an intellectual, mythological investigation. Now I needed much more. I needed to understand the emotional aspect of Chiron. In November, I shared with you that Chiron gives us valuable information about the manner in which we have been the most victimized. This victimization has left its mark on us as unnamed and visceral fear. It was assessing the fear that helped me distinguish my experience as Chironic. I spent years working on uncovering lives where I had been the perpetrator. The contaminated feelings from those lives were shame and guilt. But this was different; I only felt fear. Now I needed to figure out what I was afraid of and how to resolve it. My Chiron in Leo gave me the words and symbols and my husband, Michael, was finally able to help me by doing many past life regressions with me. I uncovered lifetimes of attacks on my heart center – real and symbolic. I was humiliated and tortured and made to witness unimaginable horrors. I was not a bad person. As a matter of fact, I was probably a powerful, visible person who was too heart connected to my people. My childlike naiveté and loving nature put me and those that I loved at risk.
Fear and shame are two distinctive emotions. Fear comes from being overpowered and victimized, and shame comes from doing something bad to someone else. Clearly I was in a Chiron moment! I began to realize that Chiron is always about the past and the associated feelings of fear are always contaminated.
I did the work. I forgave those that hurt me. My book was published. I felt freer than ever. I began using Chiron symbols in my work and many clients and students began understanding the affects of their Chiron placements. We did a great deal of philosophical thinking, talking and experiencing. Many actually had deep emotional experiences as well. And yet, I still had the visceral body fear reaction that I wrote about in my Novemer article. In essence, my earlier experiences were not complete. I had dealt with the emotions of Chiron, but not with the physical . Once again I did the work and brought the body poisons to consciousness, embraced and then destroyed them. This time I used the divine courage of my soul to face a deeper level of victimization. My sense of release was beyond words.
Chiron’s Highest Nature
Now I feel complete and changed. I am not afraid and my heart is more open than ever. Without fear I am looking more to my soul and its infinite blessings. I use its divine will and courage every day. I feel free for the first time in my life. My fear had created a disconnection from love that had kept me from embracing the divine spark of my soul; now I am ready to transcend to the highest level of my Chiron.
I have often said that the planet Saturn is the conductor of the train to our north node destination. I think that Chiron provides that conductor the karmic memories, skills and fortitude to turn on the train. Imagine the greatness, power, success, and competence that people envied to such a degree that they betrayed us. Imagine being able to use these energies again to help ourselves and others. Well, we can – this is Chiron’s role in your spiritual achievement. The more we understand the energy of our Chiron, the more we can transform the outmoded “wounded healer” into the fearless sacred teacher.
Your Personal Chiron Assessment
1. Do you have a desire that you have always wanted to manifest, but were afraid to create?
2. Do you experience deep emotional fears without a reality base?
3. Do you have anxiety attacks?
4. Have you had reoccurring nightmares or night terrors?
5. Do you feel alienated from your Soul?
6. Are you afraid of intimacy?
7. Are you afraid of being betrayed or hurt, but without a cause?
8. Do you feel paralyzed by some life events?
If you answered Yes to most of these questions, you may need to explore and alter your Chiron experience. I am organizing a tele-conferencing program to address these life questions. Please let me know if you wish more information on this transformational class.
Comments or Questions
I am honored to be writing a monthly column for Spirit Crossing. If you have any questions or comments about this or any column I write, please e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Linda Brady is an internationally recognized author, teacher and karmic astrologer with over thirty years in practice. She is the President of Creative Choices, Inc. Her first book, “Discovering Your Soul Mission: How to Create the Life You Want” was published in November of 1998 by Random House and has been reproduced in four languages. Linda’s second book, “No More Goodbyes – A True Story” was released in March of 2004. Linda has a Master’s degree in education from Southern Illinois University. Her web site is Creativechoices.com.